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Chiefs vs. Niners - Super Bowl LIV
#1

For a brief moment while driving home I was worried that I wouldn't have much to say about this rare and marvelous situation. I was suffering writer's block not out of stage fright, but maybe just because of how unfamiliar this situation is.

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(My mind, right now)

That block didn't last long. I feel like there's a ton more to say, but we've got 2 long weeks to prepare for this and I need to get to bed like the sleep needing bitch I am.


The Greatest Play in Chiefs History?
I mean, it's not that there aren't other worthy and meaningful moments in Chiefs history including the playoffs and even the Super Bowl, perhaps none more well known than 65 Toss Power Trap, but is this the all-time play for the Chiefs now?

Just look at this majesty on display!


That happened for real in a playoff game when the conclusion was still in doubt... to start the play anyway.

According to NFL Next Gen Stats, that is the longest any QB traveled on the ground in a single play this year, 64 yards, even in the year of Lamar Jackson. It lags behind the foot traffic of one Steve Bono epic run, one of the most bizarrely impossibly plays ever (<---watch this, trust me) by the most unlikely of candidates, but the moment is undeniable.

This kind of force is on our team now. Game in the balance, this is who shoulders our burdens and hopes. Enjoy this! Don't take a minute of this for granted, as Jack Nicholson might say what if this really is as good as it gets.

If the Chiefs win the SB, this may be the statement play of the season.

The Miami Connection
One of the best hidden gems of 80s action cheese is the 1988 avant-garde film known as Miami Connection. It's a gritty yet upbeat tale of a group of adult, orphan, college student, synth heavy rock stars with Tae Kwan Do black belts that battle motorcycle riding, drug dealing, ninjas primarily taking place in Orlando and not Miami. Like any great movie, it's available in its entirety for free on YouTube or the RiffTrax (old MST3K crew) version for free on Amazon Prime.


You're welcome. What does this have to do with this SuperBowl? The connection of the Chiefs to Miami is obvious.

First, Super Bowl LIV... in Miami.

Second, Chiefs got the 2nd seed... because Miami.

Third, where did the Chiefs get Damien Williams from... hey, you're catching on.

I saw where one guy online made a bet before week 17 that he'd get a tattoo of Mahomes riding a dolphin if the Dolphins won that day and the Chiefs won the SB. We're one step closer to a very necessary reality here. That bet, despite being cobbled together out of spare parts, is alive as its own crazed Frankenstein's monster.

Is this just a quick, lame way to pad this post because I have to be at work at 4 am again tomorrow? I have no idea what you're talking about, but maybe we all need to be getting into beach shape for this trip like Andy Reid wants to, because we're going to MIAMI BITCHES!!!

A Repeat Narrative
Is there anything that's been more tiring than hearing the name Derrick Henry over the last few weeks. One week was awesome and he was impressive, sure, but to hear it told stopping Henry was an impossible task. Nobody could stop him... well, call us Mr. Nobody then.

19 carries, 69 yards, 3.6 ypc, 1 TD, 2 receptions, -8 receiving yards, 2.9 yards per touch. I think that stat line speaks for itself.

We were told we could not allow the Titans to get out to a lead like the Texans because the Titans would be able to salt the game against us with Henry. Well, they tried. No lead is safe, and while the Titans fans near me were happy with the lead, they never felt confident in a measly 10 point cushion.


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The Chiefs stop Henry!

Now, we are moments away from being sick of hearing about the Niners rushing game, be it the 3 headed monster or more specifically Mostert who just had a 29 carry, 220 yard, 4 TD game.

We CAN stop them. In fact, I'd say we're better suited to handle the fast backs of the Niners than a bruiser like Henry. Simply put, Mostert wouldn't survive 20+ carries if that means getting tackled by Honey Badger more than a couple times.

The Architects of Failure
If you think for one moment I'm going to give Shanarat the Younger any kind of pass for being the brainpower behind one of the greatest offensive failures of recent Super Bowl memory, you don't know me very well. 28-3. There's your "offensive genius". If it weren't for Boy Wonder Sean McVay ejaculating at the mere sight of Belichick, seeking to touch the hem of his hoodie, Shanarat would be in a category of one on that level of playcalling failure.

All he had to do was run. Run and he wins.

I can already hear the Niners faithful saying that clearly he learned his lesson. Shanarat Jr. ran the ball for all but literally 3 plays since about halfway through the 2nd quarter of the NFC Championship. No. That is all the more evidence that he's still completely oblivious to game situation that he would go to the complete reactionary opposite and allow the Packers to at least briefly threaten an unlikely comeback because he bailed on running his normal offense too early.

Baby Shanarat is merely looking for an all new as of yet undiscovered frontier of how to fuck up epic style. I don't know when, I don't know how, but it's happening.

Say whatever you want about Playoff Andy Reid, it's easy to forget how a .500 winning record is actually very damn good in a single elimination format and 14 total playoff wins is a lot, like "6th most all-time" good, not that anyone is counting. Four of the guys ahead of him are in the Hall of Fame and the other is Belichick.

We're also effectively getting Bye Week Andy Reid, and that's the best Andy Reid besides a subset like Bye Week vs. Division Opponents, but that's getting too specific.

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That's outdated, it's actually 20-3 now.

Going back to the concept of inescapable narratives, Dee Ford. *Shudder*

We'll hear that one a time or two over the next couple weeks of media saturation for the game of our lifetimes. He's clearly the architect of last year's failure. We should have been in the SB last year, and who do we have to thank for falling short? Our future 63rd overall pick, because that's all he's good for in my eyes.

Enjoy paying the rest of that 5 year, $85M contract for 6.5 sacks worth of production and not quite a full healthy season. But don't worry, he sucks far worse at stopping the run. FUCK DEE FORD! I couldn't be happier he's gone and seeing a healthy Frank Clark get 4 sacks so far in the playoffs has been delightful.

We will have the coaching edge, and our players will be more prepared for this, I have little doubt.

And lastly thank you Chiefs for bringing home the Lamar Hunt trophy. It means the world to us.

Go Chiefs!
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#2

As a "Miami Connection" aficionado, I will also note that it's no coincidence that the Pro Bowl is in Orlando, where "Dragon Sound" is the hottest band. If there aren't any ninjas on motorcycles running cocaine around Hard Rock Stadium, the organizers EPIC FAIL.

And I can't believe that this thread exists.
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#3

I don’t want to brag but I was easily the first person call this Super Bowl appearance. 

You’re welcome.
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#4

(01-20-2020, 11:12 PM)DallasChief Wrote:  I don’t want to brag but I was easily the first person call this Super Bowl appearance. 

You’re welcome.

So say it so the rest of us can too.
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#5

(01-20-2020, 02:22 PM)ChiefsChick23 Wrote:  As a "Miami Connection" aficionado, I will also note that it's no coincidence that the Pro Bowl is in Orlando, where "Dragon Sound" is the hottest band.  If there aren't any ninjas on motorcycles running cocaine around Hard Rock Stadium, the organizers EPIC FAIL.

And I can't believe that this thread exists.

On my last phone I used "Friends Forever" by Dragon Sound for all my friends so I knew it wasn't work or my mom calling

I have a feeling the NFL won't hold the same regard for the movie as we do.
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#6

(01-21-2020, 09:44 AM)tyecopeland Wrote:  
(01-20-2020, 11:12 PM)DallasChief Wrote:  I don’t want to brag but I was easily the first person call this Super Bowl appearance. 

You’re welcome.

So say it so the rest of us can too.
DC is such a tease. He will likely troll us for a couple of days. Dodgy
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#7

Super Bowl!
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#8

(01-21-2020, 03:45 PM)DallasChief Wrote:  Super Bowl!

Thank you! 


Super Bowl!!!!

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Check out my new fan page for daily updates
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#9

(01-21-2020, 03:45 PM)DallasChief Wrote:  Super Bowl!

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#10

WE ARE IN THE MOTHERF-ING SUPER BOWL!!
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