To begin, I want to touch on something I touched on briefly in a mid-week article last season. Football players are on performance-enhancing drugs. Let’s not kid ourselves into believing the NFL’s testing policy works. The average playing weight at most positions has increased 30-50 pounds in the last three decades. A large part of that is the result of advancements in sports nutrition and physical training, but it’s also because players are on performance-enhancing drugs. When talking about concussions, we talk about changing the rules and designing better helmets, but we skirt around the major factor at play: these guys are really big, and getting hit by someone large is more painful than getting hit by someone small. This might not have been a major factor in Cameron Sheffield’s or Maurice Leggett’s injuries, as in both cases the collision was with a running back of similar size, but it’s a subject that definitely warrants much more open dialogue than is presently exchanged.

I’m curious to hear from my readers whether they think the defense’s success says more about Kansas City or more about Philadelphia. I myself am at a loss. I see few, if any, parallels between last night’s game and the game six days prior. Did the unit turn the corner sometime last week, or is Tampa Bay with their backup quarterback a more formidable offense than Philadelphia with their starter? I hope it’s the former, but I’m far from convinced. (more…)

Yet again I’m dispensing with the cute titles and semi-obscure musical references. They’ll return with the regular season. For now, I’m just gonna talk football. The second preseason game is my favorite of the four. The starters play the full first half, which means it looks something a bit like a regular season game. In the second half, the scrubs get probably their best chance to audition for the coaches. Thus, there are really two separate games taking place. Accordingly, I’ll evaluate each half individually.

FIRST HALF

I have no choice but to admit this–Matt Cassel had an okay game. Whereas his passes generally range from questionable to bad, tonight they ranged from good to questionable. He kept the ball in the hands of his receivers and out of the hands of the Buccs’ defense. He amassed two successful scoring drives. Better yet, he improved dramatically on last week’s paltry average of four yards per completion. This is undoubtedly partly attributable to improved playcalling from the sideline. Charlie Weis might not be much of a college head coach, but it’s hard to deny that he has a bit of a Midas touch with an NFL offense. (more…)

Folks, there’s no clever title this time around. No clever introduction either. I’m going straight to analysis.

If I had to sum up the Chiefs’ performance on Friday in a single sentence, that sentence would be this: what happened in the middle of that starting defensive line was a travesty. I could leave it at that and feel satisfied with the quality of my article. After all, it’s not the size of the ship, right? That wouldn’t be fair to Javier Arenas, however, so I’ll write a little more. (more…)

Eric Berry gets 6 years $60 million max with $34 guaranteed from the Chiefs – highest paid safety in NFL history

Twitter–Jason La Canfora

Peter Steele, singer and bassist for the band Type O Negative and onetime Playgirl centerfold model, died last month of heart failure. Afterward, I made my customary dead celebrity jokes, none of which were in good taste. I did the same when Michael Jackson died a year ago. This deeply offended a few of my acquaintances. I was unfriended on Facebook by two people over a remark about Jackson looking at the man in the mirror and seeing dead people. This time around, there was no outrage (or faux-outrage, as I’m positive the majority of the offended hadn’t listened to the King of Pop at any point in the decade prior). Reactions ranged from indifference to amusement.

So what’s the moral of the story? If you want complete strangers to feign sorrow of your passing, don’t write borderline unlistenable goth metal.

What does any of this have to do with Kansas City football? Nothing, aside from the fact that the title of one of Steele’s better known songs made a good title for an article about Dwayne Bowe. Unsuccessfully Coping With The Natural Beauty Of Infidelity was written from the perspective of an individual whose significant other is unable to control his/her hormonal inclinations. Perhaps, then, I should have gone with Ludacris’s Hoes In Different Area Codes instead. (more…)

Behold! It’s the time of year when every draft pick is a future repeat Pro Bowler. It’s a unique point in the life of a rookie player. A Brandon Carr can be magically transformed into the next Dale Carter. Through the magic of a first name in common, Derrick Johnson can prematurely be crowned the reincarnation of Derrick Thomas. Tre Stallings is the next Will Shields, and Brian Johnston is the next Jared Allen.

Congruences are sought out by necessity. Fans don’t have the time or the resources to make qualitative analyses of every player available (the ones who claim they have are lying through their teeth). Opinions are based on stat sheets, talking heads, and fan-assembled youtube highlight reels. Thus, from April to August, followers fantasize about what may or may not come to pass in autumn, and while intellectually aware that most draft picks don’t pan out, it’s impossible not to dream a little bit.

Bearing that in mind, I now offer you my ill informed, premature opinion of the Kansas City Chiefs’ 2010 draft. (more…)

As this is the eve of the 2010 draft, I’d like to begin this piece by offering you all my personal draft predictions for our favorite team. (more…)

In the words of William J. LePetomaine, sometimes the affairs of state must take precedence over the affairs of state.

That’s the cleverest reference I could think of to explain why I’ve been absent for a while. Mind you, for him, the affairs of state meant getting laid behind the curtains in his office. Mine haven’t been nearly that interesting. Also, my office doesn’t have curtains. (more…)

Feigning offense is a national pastime. Take, for instance, an unremarkable moment nearly three years ago wherein a has been radio personality made a couple of racially insensitive jokes regarding the visual aesthetic of the Rutgers University women’s basketball team mid-game. We, the people, claimed moral indignation. Media Matters for America and Al Sharpton lambasted the fallen shock jock. Sponsors, in an attempt to avoid association with a perceived bigot, pulled their ads from his show. Even Hillary Clinton got in on the act, meeting with the team’s coach to discuss the healing process.

Healing process?

Yes, healing process. Those were coach Vivian Stringer’s words to describe how the team would move forward. It became a social responsibility of sorts for the ten championship caliber collegiate athletes to perpetuate the faux outrage. Other facets of their lives–their education, their future, and even their next basketball game–temporarily took a back seat to putting on a sad face for the media. The ladies played their part, pretending for a few days that a joke about the coarseness of their hair, made by a balding man wearing a Canadian tuxedo, had caused them great pain and suffering. (more…)